Sunday, October 26, 2014
Two years passed, I can't believe I would be sitting in front of this template, writing once more.
They say that writing helps with healing. Since knowing that this space has long been abandoned, I guess it's safe to shout in the void that no one hears, at least not for now.
It's been the most unexpected two years of my life. To sum it up,
1. I confronted something and I finally found closure after years.
2. I was hurt, I made up my mind, and I moved on after a couple months.
3. I was free from any mental prison, I felt free for the first time in years. I was living on the edge, going on adventures, trying just anything new.
4. I made resolutions for 2013, and I actually did every single one of them.
5. I found myself in a new circle of friends. Instead of hopping bars, I was hopping from cafes.
6. I fell in love in mid 2013. I got into my first real relationship with someone I actually, love.
7. I had 6 amazing months with her. I was brought to a higher love and happiness where I have never been before. It was almost like a fairytale, however with an expiry date mutually agreed upon.
8. The distance kicked in at the start of 2014. We failed to honor our expiry-date agreement. We couldn't let go. What we had was becoming serious. We took the risk of long distance. We were since, 3000 miles apart.
9. I underwent 6 months of Internship. We underwent 8 months of distance. We spent all our possible free time, on Skype.
10. I travelled to Melbourne and spent 9 days with her. It was as though we've waited 8 months for that 9 days to happen.
11. I returned home, transiting from corporate working life back to student life with my final academic year.
12. My first real relationship ended, after a 14 months span.
13. I waited weeks to clarify, and I was given an answer, perhaps the kind of closure that we may have thought was sufficient at that moment.
14. It's been a month and half since we broke up, as I am writing this.
15. The coffee I had at 10pm earlier on, has eventually led me here.
Here I am, again.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
14th September 2012, Friday.
Arrived at SIBKL around 3.30pm.
Daniel and Wai Leem
My energy boost :9
So, all the sheeps were in the same bus. It left around 5pm.
lol feels like i chose the wrong shirt to wear that day. :/
our awesome cell leader, Mr. Ronald Teng
Pre-group-photo-chaos. (except i was damn chilled)
Credits to Rach.
Sadly it focused on the guys :/
Janice and Justine :)
loser Adrian came to the back coz' of us, the awesome backseaters. ;)
While almost everyone slept in the bus, we spent the whole time during the bus ride talking about really deep topics with Rach and Adrian. It surprised me that loser Adrian could think so maturely. :/ From relationships topic to dreams and goals topic to how-to-raise-your-kids-right topic.I really really like the bus rides there and back (i'll get to that later).
Anyway, as you've previously read the context of the camp's email, our camp's theme this year was Lifegame. And the camp site was Tekam Residence, Jerantut, Pahang. Before that, I actually googled the venue and was super amazed at this year's camp site. We were super excited about camp coz' the game sounds mysteriously fun and the place looks like a total resort. And here's what it looks like..
SUPER AWESOME RIGHT? :D
While we were almost reaching, we were trying really hard to reset our minds back to a 15 year old mindset. It's funny how everyone came up with the one and only most significant memory, "PMR".
When the bus stopped at some dark foreign place around 9pm, we looked high and low, thinking we haven't reached yet.
Except, we did. Our camp site was behind the resort, far behind i supposed. And it was a total contrast from what we thought, it was kinda
disappointing AWESOME coz' it looked like a boarding school instead. :l I guess it would've been nice if I didn't go google and kept my expectations high.
First thing we reached, everyone hogged the white board trying to see which group they were in.Then, we were told to go for dinner. And sheeps were on duty to serve that day. After dinner, we went to the hall for camp brief. Basically, there were 6 communities. Starting with the lower class community, Riverside and Greenville, middle-class community, Moonlight and Rosegarden, and upper-class community, Sunset and Blue Lagoon.
Adrian and WaiLeem was in Riverside while Rach, Joyce and Janice were in Moonlight. I was in Rosegarden, while all the other senior sheeps were in the upper class community. We had to go into our own community in the hall and register ourselves. Being in the Rosegarden was pretty good. We had the clown of the camp with us and it was nice getting to know people. After all the registration, the host gave each community their cheer style. It's funny how Rach's team got the most MAN-LY cheer coz' it involved some kungfu jump while my team had the sissiest cheer, the Hello Kitty cheer. -.-
After camp brief..
Sheeps at supper :D
Christy and Yew Hui
Do's and Don'ts in Free City. Definitely reminded me of Fine City.
When we were supposed to wash up and sleep, we found ourselves sitting by the flag poles and just talk.
The reason was, everyone was after the showers and toilets and we decided to use after everyone's done. Another reason was, Joyce's epic description of the toilet made us even more reluctant to go there. From then, we all knew Joyce as the Sheep Princess, or our Drama Queen J.
Anyway, some people came and told us the water smells like blood. Then others made creepy theories like "it could be a research center last time coz' there are shiny metallic lab-looking tables in the dorm and they slaughtered animals and dumped them into the water tank" O.o
Or, it could be just rust. :/
Around 12 something, all of us decided to go back to the dorm..
exactly what you wouldn't have imagined ;)
One of the highlighted questions in camp were,
"are you gonna shower?"
"are you gonna wash your hair?"
It's funny how for all the days there, this topic was highly significant. It was the only constant topic that we'd never left behind throughout camp. Everyday, morning, evening and before bed - same questions, same pressure, same indecisiveness.
Coz' usually, we'd go with majority. It's like that feeling where you're too lazy to shower, too traumatized to go through the disgusting route to the okay-clean-but-a-lot-of-ants-and-no-place-to-hang-your-stuff-and-cold-water-showers-toilet but if your mates showered and you don't, peer pressure you know? :/
Thinking back now, I really do miss it. Those daily feel-disgusting-but-dont-really-wanna-shower moments with them.
Oh. Why was the route to toilet disgusting? Picture this, the toilet was behind our dorm and accessed by the dorm's back door, through a short pathway. And this pathway, has a drain beside. And in this drain, there was one small pile of something covered by leaves and soil and i dont know what and it gave a superbly terrible horrible stench.
It smelt like the stench of a carcass. And to spice things up, it was directly, i mean, DIRECTLY behind our dorm. Like 50cm from the back door.
So yeah. Every time when someone opens the door to go to the toilet or back from it, the smell was overwhelming. And I slept directly in front of the back door. :(
Anyway, what we did differently this year's camp was Rach and I didn't sleep on top bunks.
I didn't even sleep on bunk beds man.
I ended up sleeping in the center of everyone.
Rach and I talked even during lights off till about 2am though we had to get up at 6.30am the next day. :/
- End of Day One -
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Went to class today and toured around the school during tutorial to see pipe works. Heard a lot of people talking about Iphone 5 and stuff even my lecturer. :D Mr. C was kinda funny again and I think he could really explain stuff. There's this very lame thing that he said, "if you drive through the SMART tunnel, you'll come out smart." Lol.
Went to lunch with my classmates. It feels good to just hang around like that. Felt like it's been a long long time since I last hung out with them aside from school. Managed to do some of my overdue posts and hibernated afterwards. In the evening, I went to Pyramid with Em to just hang around since I'd be away for a while. Bought snacks for the camp. :D Night was fun though we just walked around. Mom called and said she'd be coming next week. YAY!
Completed some more overdue posts and watched a Thai movie with a very depressing ending. :( Didn't really like it. Anyway, I'm going to camp tomorrow and will only be back on Monday. Supposed to pack but got so lazy so I'll just pack tomorrow. I think the camp is gonna be awesome coz' the theme this year is "Lifegame". So, we're gonna play our own life throughout the camp. :o This is the email for the game :
Hi there! I'm Mr. TOUR GUIDE. You've been officially granted citizenship to Free Nation and I'm truly excited to meet you. But before you arrive, I need to highlight a few important things to you.
- You are about to enter a place called FREE CITY. This is a simulated city complete with a university, bank, post office, shopping mall, hospital and other institutions that are common today. FREE CITY is a land of opportunities where dreams come true!
- Upon arrival, please find your name, community, and collect your photo sticker. Thereafter, please proceed to CUSTOMS IMMIGRATION counter with your baggage. We will issue you a FREE CITY Identity Card (ID). Do not lose it! Anyone travelling in FREE CITY without an ID is considered an illegal immigrant.
- When you check-in to FREE CITY, you will begin your life at AGE 15. Therefore, reset your thinking & behaviour to when you were 15-year old.
- PLAY AND ENJOY your life at FREE CITY as it is real! Remember: "Whatever that's possible in the real world is possible in FREE CITY."
- Last but not least, the word "GAME" is PROHIBITED in FREE CITY.
"Live a purposeful and significant life!"
FREE CITY TOUR GUIDE
Sounds pretty cool right? But i've no idea how to reset my mind back to the age of 15. Been trying to think of a dream and goal the whole day and being stressed out all over it coz' I didn't wanna not have a dream in there while everyone has a dream. In the end, I still can't find my dream yet.
It's a full month from the date above, but fast hasn't ended yet. It'll end this weekend when I'm away at camp. I'm glad that camp is this weekend coz' it's like the best closing ceremony for my fast. Hope something will change, something that I've been fasting for and with the help of this camp.
Will be back on Monday! Have a great weekend peeps! :)
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Today was unproductive. But while I was exploring my nokia dumbphone in lecture class, I found out that it could support apps. And I found whatsapp! :o Then I felt so proud of myself for making the dumbphone smart. Didn't even know it was possible until two years later. -.- I've always thought of it as a touchscreen dumbphone.
Rach picked me up for dinner with Josh. Then we were talking about camp, elections, and stuff. The night ended with me awaiting for the launch of Apple Event 2012. :D For the first time, I was so hyped about the launch of an apple product and followed its live event updates on live blogs for an hour plus. It's like the whole world was watching it, all eyes on the event itself and twitter was trending with Apple related stuff. :o Anyway, the new Iphone 5 seems awesome, like everything is enhanced. However, I was a little disappointed at the fact that there's no new or unexpected features. :/ Everything seems like an upgrade of the previous generation.
Feels like I've gone back to be an Apple fan once again. For a moment, I almost give in to Androids.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
It's September 11th. Another date that has its history.
Class was really short today. Two hours of class in the morning and free for the whole day. But today was a bad day. :/ Went home and took a nap. Somewhere in between, the current stopped. It was so hot that I woke up and went outside to see what was going on.
Saw my housemate holding a piece of red colored paper and it was from TNB(electricity company). It was a notice to cut off the current coz of unpaid bills. Then, he called up the landlord and asked him to settle the bill. I guess I wasn't awake enough to be bothered about it and still managed to go back to sleep in that condition.
Around evening, I woke up for real and the current wasn't back yet. I got a little annoyed coz' it's kinda ridiculous to stay in a house till the electricity got terminated. I couldn't go online, my laptop's batt was dead, there was no aircond/fan. So it was dead boring. Then I decided to go to campus, hang around till Em finishes her class at 8pm.
And I thought it was bad enough to have the current cut off at home, my Iphone 3g died on me. Died for real. I couldn't switch it on anymore. Honestly, I think it was time for that phone to die but I wasn't prepared yet. So many photos, videos, contacts and stuff in the phone, gone with it. And Iphone 5 is not even releasing here till months later. :(
When I got home, the current was back on. Tried charging my phone the whole night with hope that it'll turn back on. After hours of waiting, it didn't. Then I decided to turn off the charger switch once and for all. :( It's kinda like pulling off the plug of a life support machine from a patient. :/
So now, I'm stuck with my old nokia phone, dumbphone, which opened up to so much memories. ss15 memories. :( It's a 5530 fyi.
RIP Iphone 3G (April '11 - Sept '12)