Where is the old us?


Where you'd come running after when the other falls to her knees.

Just like looking into the mirror, the reflection reminds me of my regrets.

40 hours

So i haven't eaten for 41 hours. Going on 42.

Might sound insane but well for once i don't feel like eating.


Trying to put my self in those african kids' shoes.

I don't know what to do, other than fighting the flow.

Right now, don't feel like letting the flow sweep us even further.

Trying to start making a change, but don't really know what i should do.


Just following the flow, makes me feel like regrets are eating me up.



I'm in this fight alone.

A lot of things that i thought, weren't what i thought.

Seemed like we were on the wrong foot only to realize that night.

I don't deny that often i had my thoughts trying to kill me or what we have.

But even after everything, we can't deny all these changes, can we?

You can't just walk away from these changes, can you?

Sometimes, i wish we had us instead of what we have now.

I miss the world we used to live in.


The changes that you're so comfortable with, i don't know how long i can keep up. Feel like i've been left behind, not knowing how to adapt.


Tried to pretend that the changes weren't much of a big deal.

Tried to be tough, maybe i could get used to, maybe i could adapt.






I can't.



But i'll try to be okay even if i'm not inside. As long as i could.

Can't let myself keep bringing you down.


Kept feeling it was unfair that why can't i be the happier one.


But it was so selfish for me to think that way.

You deserve everything you have today.

I should be happy for you.



What we have now, i really wish we wouldn't have come this far with it knowing it would've changed everything.

I would've traded this for that world we knew.

Starting to find it difficult living in this circle coz' it often reminds me of the price i had to pay.

Feel like i'm living in regrets, the same time i have to be grateful.

Guess it's just me. Not you.









Now i remember why i don't like driving these days.


Coz' even that part has changed.

The boat that was in our story.

One week left

Phone's not dead anymore. Home button's still dead. Relocated its function to elsewhere. So yeah, i managed to let that phone stick around a little longer.

The week's gonna end with a Palm Beach trip tomorrow. For the first time, i don't feel as excited as all the other trips i went. A lot of times i wasn't even sure if i wanted to go. But well, i have to go. Is it too soon to break this detaching plan? I almost got comfortable living that way.

I hope I wouldn't come back like a kid who had her candy stolen. Lord, guide me through. :/

Next week is my final week here. Though the people here are awesomely great, i still can't wait to go back to KL. I'm excited for school to start and everything. It's like a new phase. Everything new that i needed to get out from the current thoughts.

It's gonna be this or never, to save me out from anymore fall backs.

I just wanna bounce back on my feet already ughhh :/




















On the bright side, i'm gonna sneak out to McD for breakfast now! it's 4.30am ;)

THE THRILL OF SNEAKING OUT FTW >:)

Home Button DEAD

Bad timing for my iphone to die on me now.


When everything's already not going smoothly, it took this opportunity to make things worse :(


It's not literally dead yet, but the home button died.

In medical terms, it's paralyzed.


it's now a vege. :(


is this bad luck or what!

LIFE, stop hurling everything to me at the same time >:/










CAN I?? >:[






dammit. how now. sigh.