lord-of-san-andreas

2012-01-30T15:35:00.002+08:00

no matter i turn right or left, i'd still look like the bad guy when..

..deep down i'm trying to be a superhero.

no one can fckin see it, can they?

and i held on so long to a non-existent faith, to realize there was no turning point

tell me how to be what you want me to be when all i know is what i'm good at being

i didnt give up, you did.

and when i fought so hard so long, it didn't change a thing

the superhero in a villain's disguise, the fool that was waiting for a non-existing miracle

2012-01-18T12:03:00.001+08:00

Lord, i dont know what i did wrong
but at least let me be strong when the world leaves me behind

2012-01-15T22:22:00.002+08:00

it's 2012 already.

the year of apocalypse, doomsday, Armageddon etc.

anyway, Happy New Year.

let's see what happens when the year ends alright

2012-01-15T22:20:00.001+08:00

this place rusted for about two months now huh?

Just drop by to say..

5 MORE DAYS

..till i'm turning the BIG TWO-O :(

November 14th

2011-11-14T00:33:00.007+08:00

Right now it's 12.33am of November 14th, 2011

Though it's just another day in 365 days to 6 billion people,

but it's a special day to someone..

Happy 19th Birthday, Em :)

This is your third birthday post here without fail, in this pretty much isolated blog.

Anyway, you're finally 19th after i've been 19th for 10 long months :/

Can't think of anything else to say, so i wish you the BEST in life. :D

kidding.

Okay here goes: cut down on McD kay. And sweets(likes skittles -.-).
Seriously, we're not getting any younger, take care of your health man

And, all the best in your studies. Take care of yourself too, stop being a klutz. Be more careful please.

And don't always emo but i guess those days are over for you now, so.. stay happy :)

Though we're growing older, surpassing the age of innocence, and a lot of things are bound to change, i hope that we can always be these..

..dorks. :)

Hope you have a great birthday and sorry that i can't celebrate with you on the date itself.

God bless, you!

To be honest, i was supposed to sleep early tonight coz' i'm dead tired but i stayed up just to wish you on time and make you this lil tribute. Right now it's 2am. Doesn't matter though, hope you like your third birthday post. :]

2011-10-16T02:26:00.002+08:00

sorry for the absence, that you got used to.

too late.

right now,

nothing that i wanna change,
coz' i know that this is what you've been waiting for,
this is the one thing that makes you happy

i'll somehow gather this remaining strength and be happy for you

and i'm just gonna watch you from where i stand now

For i know that there's nothing left of me that i can give,

but i pray that He's by your side everyday, shining the way for you so you wont fall

2011-10-16T01:32:00.000+08:00

held my breath

i was afraid that if i breathe any harder,

i wont be able to hold back those tears

September Much

2011-09-29T00:47:00.005+08:00

Havent posted anything for a month already :x

I've been busy.

So many events on my schedule the whole month which finally everything ended last weekend.

Means, i've got lots of overdue posts which i now dont really have the time for.

But i'll get it done when the time is appropriate.

A2 is coming up soon, approximately 3 weeks from now. :(

SO YEAH, hence no time.

Anyway, my room light is busted. I'm living on my ikea lamp now :/

it looks really messy if it was brighter. im serious.

Unrelated but this looks like...

...the world's next best CIA.

till then. :p

To Jon & Alv

2011-08-27T03:29:00.012+08:00

Hey guys. If you ever get to see this.. it's everything i wouldn't tell you in your face. :P

To Jon:

I guess i never really told you this but you're one of those people that i look up to.
It's funny how we both came from the same tadika, yet i feel like i have a lot to learn from you.

You're the know-what-to-do guy given in any sort of difficult situation or position. It's like you just know what to do when everyone's falling apart.

Coming from the same pre-school, of the very same age, your maturity level outweighs mine.
You give damn good advices, sometimes i wonder if you're my age. :/

If i were to use one word to describe you, it will be God-sent. Oh man, this is gonna make your head blow. I can just imagine you doing your "DUH" face now together with your one and only act cool pose. :p

The reason for God-sent is coz' you brought me to church, exposed me to Sheep United.
I remember the first day i was at that church, you spent the entire service explaining everything, introducing almost anyone you know to me.
For a starter in that community, everything feels awkward. I didn't know anyone, and at times, it seems difficult to connect with others but you helped me with it.
For some time, i was shy and quiet. The only way i feel that i could connect and be my normal self was when all of us disturbed you.

Slowly, i learn to connect with others without having to do it through you. Felt like you guided me a lot in those days when i first joined the church.

So if it wasn't for you, i wouldn't have known all the awesome people in cell, of which have the utmost sincerity and truly caring.

I know how sometimes, maybe it does suck being mocked one after another by all of us, being the dart board, being the clown.

If we ever went overboard, i'm sorry.

The way i see it, you sacrificed by being the clown just to see us get unison to disturb you.

By disturbing you, all of us had a great time laughing, and became closer than before.

Being a hero isn't easy, but you pulled it well. :)

I miss disturbing you. So is the whole cell.
There isn't another member in the cell that we can disturb to such extent but you. :(

Bet you'd go.. "AIYAHH" when you see that. :P

Stupid Jon, this is why i cannot stop disturbing you. :P

Though we're not the closest friend that each other has, but at so many points, when i least expect, you showed concern. That, i'm actually touched. :p

Do you think we'll ever be like the way we are now, 4 years later?
Watching you leave just now made me look into the next 4-5 years in the future.

We'd be 24. Working. And given another 3 or 4 years from then, we'd probably be starting our own family or things like that.

Do you think we'll be too old to mock or hit each other?

Nevertheless, I thank Lord for your existence in my life.

FOURTEEN YEARS ACQUAINTANCE JON :P

And one year buddies :)

To Alv:

You're like my best guy friend this whole year. You took such great care of me, and supported amy impulsive ideas though you don't think it's right sometimes. I owed you a lot, in so many things though you keep telling me that i don't.

We hopped from one phase to another, didn't we? The first time i know you, we were purely retarded, purely innocent in our friendship. As time passed, we've known each other so well, and so much has happened that it changed our friendship. Even so, i had my best moments with you though we fight a lot.

I miss those times we sat and talked about just any shyts. We would just suddenly get into a debate on any sort of topics. And remember those insane times we went cyber at 3 or 4 in the morning? Your eyes were red, and you still didn't wanna admit you're dead tired.

You accompanied me in a lot of my silly missions which were totally unreasonable and you tried to talk me out of it but you give in to my stubbornness in the end . You were like a brother, like a guardian, and definitely like a best friend.

You gave me my 19th birthday.

I was deeply touched with the cake coz' no one's ever gotten me a secret recipe cake with my name written on it. :/ It felt like a complete birthday cake. :)

You planned everything according to the little things that i randomly mentioned over time just to give me a great birthday.

Thanks.

I've said a hundred thanks, but i don't think it's ever enough. You know what you gave me and all, how your existence pulled me through my lowest point, and i know it well too. I know it so well that i'm so grateful for how everything fell into place, how we ended up becoming such good friends. Though if you were to start all over again, you might have chosen another path.

I know i've said a lot of hurtful stuff, and at one point, i really didn't want us to be involved in each other's life. I know i've said i regret for how everything started and all. But all these time of us being almost complete strangers, got me thinking a lot. Truthfully, i don't anymore.

In fact, i miss those times we hang out. As tiring as how we threw our emotions at each other can get, still, there were more happy moments that outweighed the bad ones.

If i could turn back time, i'll try to make it right, i'll try not to frustrate you with that problem you didn't wanna hear. I'm sorry that almost everything was my fault. And i'm especially sorry if i took you for granted. I have a tendency to only start appreciating when i lose something, while letting regrets eat me up.

I thought it was for the best that we remained how we are now but i died a little inside watching us being mere acquaintance just now. Just wanting to say a proper goodbye seemed so difficult.
I can't tell you how badly i wanted us to talk for the last time there, and for our last goodbye. But i couldn't bring myself to. I guess both our egos got in the way huh?

Watching you & Jon getting almost out from my sight, i knew that if i don't say it now, i won't get to anymore. But all i managed to give by letting the bit of my ego down, was a wave goodbye from far which you saw. Bit lame huh? I was actually waiting and hoping you'd look at my direction before you went in. And i'm glad you did coz at least we waved goodbye. :/

Awesome picture huh?

One of the best times i had with you and the guys.

For once, it almost got me teared up watching you walk away, knowing that we'd probably live out what we said that night at Little Bally. Like how we said we'd probably won't know each other anymore after 4 years, how we wouldn't even know where we would be in this world, and how if we were to meet on the street someday.

I kept saying,
"we'll call each other 4 years from now and see what we're doing with our lives".

Remember?

Do you think we're ever gonna do that, 4 years from now?

I like it when you smile like that.

It makes me happy when you're being retardedly hyper.
It cheers up everyone around. So..

Smile more man. :)

To you both:

I want you guys to know how each one of you has been so significant and special to me.

How both of you has changed my life in so many ways, for the better.

And how contented i am for the times with you guys.

Thanks again and take care. May God be with you in everything you do.

Bye Alv, bye Jon.

See you guys someday, years from now.

Sheep United: Sending Jon Off

2011-08-27T02:24:00.012+08:00

Less than 12 hours ago, we went all the way to KLIA at this peak season just to send Jon off.

Thanks to Ken for the effort.

Sunset on the way there

Justy - chat buddy in the car

Talked to him about SNSD&K-pop on the way to KLIA, and then talked to him about camp experiences on the way back from airport. LOL

It feels rather weird being in KLIA yet not being able to fly back to Kuching this holiday.
Though it is just one ticket away, one 600-700 bucks ticket. :/

So near yet so far eh? :(

Jonathan Lee, at his formal.

At the same time, Alv leaves too.
The two awesome guy friends i've known the past year.

The SS15 guys, came specially to send Jon & Alv off.

One thing that we'll all miss is..

..disturbing you and your SUPER-"PRETTY" facial expression no matter which group you're in. :(

Made by our cell leader, Cissie.

I'm glad we made you cry Jon. Everything is worth it now. :P

So..

..bye Jon. :)

Sheep United: Bye Jon & Marilyn

2011-08-27T01:12:00.000+08:00

Weeks ago, group photo session during Jon & Marilyn's last cell..

Ben, Jon, Justy, Rach, and Marilyn.

Sheep United(decent):

Sheep United(badass):

Thanks for being the sunshine and the clown in cell guys. :)

Take caree.

Augusting

2011-08-20T03:06:00.003+08:00

Lately, i've been snsd-fied. Funny how i was once upon a time so against kpop but now i'm actually listening to snsd's stuff. Still, they are the only group that i'm curious of. I still dislike k-pop in general.

Aside from snsd stuffs, all that i've been doing is trying to study but failed most the time due to distractions and procrastination. So currently in my life now has only two things : snsd and study.

Trials' is emerging in two weeks plus time and i'm not prepared at all. I've been planning stuffs which, i'll tell you guys about it soon. :p

Raya is next weekend, and i'm gonna be stuck here while almost everyone get to go back.

At times when i see someone experiencing the awesome phase i used to have, it kinda makes me miss those times, miss having someone there at least. The phase where i actually couldn't let go for so long. Though now, i moved on from it, i'm just saying, at times, i miss it.

Nonetheless, everything has its pros and cons. I'm not complaining. In fact, i feel awesome like this. Only at times, watching another's, makes me feel like that story was a lot like mine.

I ate ice-cream in the rain today. Sadly, the rain was less heavy when i went out. It didn't feel so thrilling anymore. Next time, that i promise myself.

2011-08-16T17:23:00.003+08:00

All i need is a little bit of this right now..

..don't they make you smile? :)

AS Result

2011-08-12T01:25:00.004+08:00

I haven't updated for nearly two weeks.

Anyway, i was super anxious about my results that were out on Aug 11th.

And right now, it's 1.30am of Aug 12th.

Before dawn of Aug 11th, i was at Max's place. Was there to sleepover, except that i didn't actually sleep.

Everyone was asleep and i was up till 5.30am before i took a two hour nap.

the hyper me, before result.

Oh. Excuse the korean-fied specs. It's a new-found interest.

Anyway, around 8smth am i found out my results. I had to keep spamming the CIE webpage with ErnKhai. And finally when i least expected, the results appeared. -.-

Reaction after results.

I didn't do well. Honestly, i thought i did better. But i was wrong.
This is the first time I've gotten a B in public exam. More like two Bs.
ABB.
I just broke my records of getting straight As in life.

And yes. I'm sad.

Last weekend of July '11

2011-07-31T11:51:00.007+08:00

I feel like this is becoming a photoblog. :/

Anyway, lately i was kinda vain, thus..

I guess that's what happens when you've got an aviator... or a guitar. :p

Last night, i went to this event called TDC Reproduction. It's kinda like a dance production.

Zach Yeoh, college mate.

During intermission of the event..

Derek, the bboy contemp dancer.

Bren, the Kpop hardcore.

And her K-pop group for the night..

Midnight Circus.

Then, after the event Bren and I went supper. Epic supper coz' we were halfway talking in the mamak shop, then suddenly raised the question of whether we wanna drink or not. (drink as in...ahem alcohol). So random. Then i went next door where it was some 24 hour shop and bought a small bottle of Gin&Lemon. HAHA. Funny thing was, everyone in the store was staring at me like i'm some sort of problematic alcoholic. :/

But anyway, that was the first. Never once bought alcohol from a store. :p Then, I went back to the mamak shop and yeah, we drank in a mamak shop. :P But still crazy sober la though i did feel a lil bit of kick. But that was a damn random awesome experience. First time drinking Gin though. Felt like it just established its own first memory.

Then it kinda struck me the Script's song, "for the first time". Like the chorus, "gonna start by drinking old cheap bottle of wine, sit talking up all night". Okay that's lame i know.

-abrupt end- :p

Wannabe

2011-07-26T17:30:00.001+08:00

Vanity

2011-07-26T16:56:00.003+08:00

When I Turned 19th

2011-07-26T15:14:00.000+08:00

Never had a proper post for my 19th birthday. So..here it is.

On Jan 20th '11, i turned 19. :)

Had dinner the night before my birthday with my classmates at Ole-Ole Bali, Empire.

Credits to Zach for the shot. (not in the picture)

They got me the cutest cake ever.

Happified.

Blowing away the year of 18th, for good. :/

Then around, 12 smth, officially turned 19th, i went back to the apartment area where..

..this bunch of people surprised me. :D

Cal came down specially for my birthday. :D

I haven't had a birthday cake that has my name on it for a long long time. :D

Then after the good part, comes the messy part..

..cake fight. :p

SIGH.

But.. i got them back too. So..

..YAY. :p

Then, we had STEAMBOAT(yay) dinner later that day. :D

Another 6 months to my 20th birthday on the 20th Jan. :/

2011-07-26T04:01:00.002+08:00

Instagrammed,

Neon Trees.

30 Seconds to Mars.

Neon Trees album.

MTV Worldstage '11

2011-07-26T02:43:00.009+08:00

After telling the world that i wasn't gonna go Worldstage the whole time, a sudden impulse to go struck me on the day before the event.

So i went around, searching high and low for the ticket. And got one, from the purchase of Neon Trees Album. :D

Sadly, regular zone. :(

After experiencing X-zone last year, getting a regular one is really a BIG disappointment. :/

Anyway, we went there after church, and reached there about 3.30pm.

Utt. :(

Isaiah, who drove us :) and Mark's gay bracelet. :p

Group shot!

Sigh. Look at the queue. :(

Thus, camwhored while waiting. :D

Mark, Ellen, and Isaiah.

Funny thing was that when we got passed the registration counter, we looked back at the crowd that's still queuing and we were like, "HAHA LOSER!", thinking that we would be in the concert area, then..

..we ended up queuing some more by the roadside where the crowd all sat down and waited. :/

SO, we camwhored some more! :D

I kinda hate those profit-based people coz' they were selling drinks at 5 bucks per cup. >:[

But i bought anyway, out of thirst, desperation. :/

Then around 5pm, we were allowed to go in.

We were given free fan and ponchos. :D

Met up with..

Bren, a hardcore SNSD fan.

Kinda funny how we knew each other, she's Max's housemate, and since i go to Max's house often, I'm slowly becoming friends with her housemates, almost all.

The Saviors, Randy and his friend.

If it weren't for them, it'd be a trouble getting 6 people home. Thank God for such awesome cell member. :)

Since I went to meet up with Bren, i couldn't find Isaiah them anymore, thus got separated.
So i was literally with Bren and her friends the whole time.

Anyway, during the intervals between the artists' appearances, MTV played Music videos on screen, then came the music video of an SNSD song.

As a hardcore fan like her and her friends, they went crazy and high the whole song. Buttttt, it was only an MV. LOL.

Somehow funny. :p

Then, i only started getting high during Neon Trees' performance. The first two bands were Pop Shuvit and Beast, whom i wasn't really into. :p

And when my favourite song, Neon Trees' Animal came,

I.went.nuts.

Screaming.jumping.singing the whole song.

Tired, but jumped and screamed anyway. :p

But the most epic band, also the last performer was 30 Seconds To Mars.

There were fireworks, and one part, he used a torch and shone at the crowd like what he did in Closer To The Edge Music Video. :O

He threw his Ray Ban to the crowd. :O

Then he started singing,

This is war.
Hurricane.
The Kill.
Closer To The Edge. (SO epic)

Then they went backstage. We thought the shows over, but he hasn't sang Kings&Queens yet!

Altogether with the crowd, we sang Kings&Queens intro on repeats with hope that they'd come back out and perform their signature song.

About 10 minutes later, they came back on stage. :D :D :D

And Jared, lead singer, randomly picked all the people in the front row to go up to the stage. So in the end, there were about 50 people on stage singing the final song, Kings&Queens. LUCKY PEOPLE. :(

The year that i didn't get X-zone, artists asked X-zoners to go up stage. WTH. D:

As tired as i was, I still jump and scream to the song, anyway.

A little disappointed it didn't rain coz' it'd be super epic if it did when 30stm perform.

Like,

*rainnnnn*

"We areee the Kings and Queens of promiseee~"

:(

Then, the drummer, Shannon, threw his drumsticks to the crowd. Damn X-zone people, get all the good stuff. >:/

During 30stm.

So it ended about 11smth. And we walked to Old Town for supper. Only went home at 2am.

Kinda miss having a big guy to carry me up, like how Alistair did for me last year. :( So many people were lifted up this year especially during 30stm.

However,

That was one of the most awesome nights of the year. :D

Photobooth

2011-07-26T01:43:00.002+08:00

Olivia's 19th

2011-07-25T22:36:00.006+08:00

This post is dedicated to Olivia Lee.
An almost a month overdue post.

On 28th June..

HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAYYYY BOL! :)

One of those i grew up with, Olivia.

Awesome Angry Bird cake.

Celebrated at Porkies with these people. :)

Blowing the 19 candles.

Next picture, gotta thank Vivien's guts. :D

VIVIEN WHY YOU SO VIOLENT.

Heh. I'm such a background spoiler. :p

Anyway, i literally celebrated your birthday three years in a row already.

19th, 18th...

..and the first time, 17th. :D

Take care!

Beyond Repair

2011-07-16T00:25:00.008+08:00

To a guy whom i knew so well,

A lot of times, i tried fixing things up with this guy just so we could still be good friends.
He was like the closest guy friend i had, and i was comfortable enough to tell him just anything. When i'm sad or down, i confide in him. Probably he doesn't see it as a good thing, and eventually got fed up with my endless problems. Honestly, i wouldn't have confided in anyone else coz' i trusted him, i was close enough that i regard him as someone i can just tell everything to. I think that's a bloody honour if you asked me. There's so many things i wish i could tell him. But i'm just gonna write it all here.

Funny how i've always thought we could be good friends. When you asked me for more than what friendship could offer, i gave you a million reasons why it cannot happen. Funny how you persisted, and even gave your word saying nothing would go wrong. You were so assured like you already saw the future. I almost believed, just that the only thing holding me back was feelings that i didn't have for you.

Months passed, endless cold wars and fights, frustration, and fed ups. And we were only just good friends. And it led right to this point, where we could no longer be friends. And this was in fact upon your wish, when you said that our "friendship was beyond repair" when i thought otherwise, thinking that there was still hope in being good friends.

A lof of times you'd randomly, suddenly throw me into a cold war without me knowing what i did wrong and only to realize that we were in a cold war when you made it so obvious and i was so blur, but played along anyway. At such points, i wish i could replay that memory scene where you were so freakin assured if things were to happen the way you wanted, and just slapping that scene right in your face saying, "i told you so." At such points, i really wanted to tell you that you're eating your own words, over and over again. At such points, i felt so glad sometimes that i was right about the future and never let it happened the way you wanted.

I got really fed up by the countless cold wars that i never wanted.

I foresaw the downhill. But you were so assured. Yet, i was right and the worse part is, we were merely good friends. What if it was more than that? I could've bloody killed you coz' i'd be more disappointed to let it happen when i already predicted, but let it happened anyway at the faith of your bloody assurance and words and promises. So if you asked me, i can tell you i'm glad i had no feelings. Coz' i'd been tearing myself apart now if i did.

That feeling of knowing i was right. That feeling of you proving my words right. I don't know if i should be happy or sad. But i'm glad, nonetheless.

That however, isn't the only thing i was glad for. I'm glad to have known you, to have you as someone i could lean on, and especially a friend that i needed more than you always assume or question. Those times you looked out for me. Those times you bear my insanity and accompanied my impulsiveness in going through high and low for something that wasn't part of your to-do list but mine and the things that i wanna do. Those times you were there for me when i was down. Those times when you helped me get through the hard times. Those times when you cared like no one would. They are still in my head. And i never once forget the effort and time you wasted on me. I can't tell you how grateful i am for those times, and they'll be something i can never repay you.

Nevertheless, I do regret being so close to you. Coz' you wasted all your time and effort on me and my stuff, for something that i cannot give. I feel so indebted and i feel so bad.

I do regret being so close to you coz' i expect us to still be good buddies since we knew each other so well, especially when i told you my utmost deepest secrets and life story. I trusted you on the whole. So imagine losing someone close whom you told your world to? Makes me feel so insecure telling you everything when you're just gonna be another stranger to me. As selfish as i sound, i am, insecure of those that i told you. And now, i'm just plain regret of certain things that i told you.

I do regret being so close coz' maybe if we were never that close, you wouldn't have to go through so much pain, frustration and disappointment. I wouldn't have to feel so bothered being in bad terms, and especially being sad that it ended this way. We could've actually still be friends if we were never so close.

But what's done is done. Like you said, we're beyond repair. However, I just wanna convey my utmost gratitude to you, though i know it'll never be enough to compensate. I just wanna say sorry for the hurts, disappointment and frustration i have caused you. If it makes you happy to know, i've never known a guy this well. You definitely made an impact in my memory and thus, a significance in my life story. I wish you the best in life.

2011-07-14T03:09:00.004+08:00

Today, i saw my dad apologized for the first time.

I texted him asking him to help me reload and apparently i guess something got in the way, so he replied, "sorry. will reload for you tomorrow."

Though it was almost nothing, no big deal, still..

..i don't remember when was the last time i've ever heard him say sorry.

Or maybe never.

I'm somewhat touched over that.

Independent

2011-07-10T16:27:00.007+08:00

A while back then, there was this period i was down on my knees for very long.

I was dependent.

I was pathetic.

No one could've understood what i was going through.

No one knows the slightest pinch of pain i had for so long.

I wanted to get up so badly, but my knees were as though the weight of the world.

I've never really thought when will I be independent once again, like those days before I had someone to lean on.

All i was doing, hoping, was for time to pass.

Giving it all to time, to rebuild myself.

I thought i was still the same, i thought i was still in the phase where i was still waiting for "time".

But people's been telling me that i'm independent nowadays.

It took so long that, i didn't even notice that i was actually going about in my life by myself already.

I've been through some low points by myself.

I've been through some hard times by myself.

I've been going places, doing things, by myself.

I'm been looking as tough as a rock, just so I don't want people to think I'm helpless.

Most of the times when i breakdown, when i cried, i cry alone.

I don't deny, sometimes i miss having someone to lean on.

I don't deny, sometimes, independence feels bit lonely.

Sometimes, i feel like, give me a break already when i get a little too tired looking strong, looking tough, and looking independent.

Sometimes, i wish i'd have someone whom i know i can go to, open up to.

Someone who would make me feel like as if all my problems are taken care of, feeling comforted and contented.

I miss that feeling.

I guess everything is like a double-edged sword. Nothing's good for real.

But i'm PROUD to say i'm INDEPENDENT.

The same person that made me fall, surprisingly was the same person that pushed me to slowly stand again.

But this time, the stand is my own.

Standing tall, ftw.

Watching from afar

2011-07-08T12:51:00.004+08:00

While everyone's back in Kuching, having an awesome time every night and day.

While I'm here, not part of the fun there anymore.

Life here lies between sleeping, eating, studying, and..

...CSO-ing.

sigh much. :/

Third Day Of Sem 3

2011-07-06T14:31:00.002+08:00

Skipped school today. Didn't feel so well. :/

Saw this bizarre lining of cloud yesterday.

Sigh. I really want a DSLR. :(

Croc Farm

2011-07-05T04:16:00.007+08:00

When it comes to Nature, SARAWAK is your destination! :D

The last time i went to the Croc Farm was probably 10 years ago. Croc Farm is located in 18th mile.

Funny thing was, it was raining heavily yet we still took the risk to go. And fortunately, the moment we reach, the rain stopped. :O

It was feeding time so we hurried to the feeding place.

A friend called Eric, said we were like animals too. Coz' when the workers ring the bell, all of us hurried to the feeding place like as if we were rushing there for food.

The people i went with.

Em and Bol

It's called the Jumping Crocodile Show! :D i'm serious.

The croc farm a bit stingy. Only gave half a chicken when the croc jumped like 1000 times. If i were the croc, i think i'd just starve and die lah. Even watching the croc jumped and failed, made us, AUDIENCES feel very pekchek(frustrated), what more to say if we were the croc itself. I think if the croc has fingers, it'll point its middle finger at the worker. -.-

After the croc feeding show, we were summoned by the bell to go watch Arapaima's feeding show. Arapaima is a type of GIGANTIC fish.

Them watching.

Can't really take a picture coz' the water is so clear. -.-

Oh and we get to feed them. They eat expired breads. Good life.

Then we went for the nature walk in the jungle. The thing about it was, our safety was only protected within the wooden bridge itself. Underneath and surrounding are all crocodiles. Like a lot of them.

So here are the few types of animals you can find there..

Wildboar!

Alligator

Emo Beast.

Hyperactive Monkey.

Croc eating air.

More crocs.

Supercolorful BIRD/maybe Ostrich.

And the cutest of all animals above..

..sun bear with its poops all around!

AWWW.

Updating this post at 6am when i have class at 11am. :/

Semenggok Wildlife Park

2011-07-05T01:47:00.004+08:00

First weekend in Kuching. I went Semenggok with Marilyn, Maryann and Elaine. It's a wildlife park that has OrangUtans and Crocodiles only. :/

Spent quite a while finding the place. :D It's in 10th mile.

Two bucks.

On the way there before expedition, my cotton on slippers broke. -.- Then they went to the shops in 10th mile town and got me a fake Roxy slippers that cost RM7.90. And i've been wearing it for 3 weeks already. :D

Sigh. Cotton On -.-"

This is an insult to Saddam. Bet he would terrorize this wildlife park if he knew. :D

Fatso.

This is what will happen if you look like food to the OrangUtans.

So TRY NOT TO LOOK LIKE FOOD.

OrangUtans

One that got closer.

While waiting the crowd to clear, we took pictures with the BIG TREE.

Literally big tree.

Elaine, Marilyn and Maryann

On the way back to the parking area.

Almost reach the parking area.

Saw an OrangUtan at the parking area. Close up man.

Then there was this Ah Beng Kia(not a chinese) who wanted to touch the OrangUtan. -.-

Too bad the Forestry people came and stopped the guy. Or we'd HAVE MORE "INTERESTING" PICTURES! :/

Abrupt ending of the post with this awkward position of the OrangUtan

:)

Start of the Last Sem

2011-07-04T02:20:00.005+08:00

Back in Kayelle again. I dont deny, i'm homesick. Got a severe depression days before coming back here. A back-to-ss15-depression mode. :/

School is starting again. Semester 3, last sem. Honestly, i can't wait for Pre-U to end. I can't wait to go degree. Perhaps it's peer pressure.

Sigh. I miss mom. :/

Was on the verge of tearing up while saying goodbye. :/

All i got here is..

..Keith now. :[

Okay! Time for bed. :(

Next Half of 2011

2011-06-30T16:05:00.002+08:00

Today is the last day of first half of the year.

One year doesn't seem that long ago.

Another 3 months to trial. again.

Another 4 months to A2. again.

:(

Dork-fied.

2011-06-28T03:33:00.005+08:00

Haven't posted anything in a while.

So just gonna post a picture for the mean time alright?

Like the advertisement between shows. :p

DORKFACE. :)

Used to have a picture like that in some really old post.

Like...

..this!

That was form 3. Looked bit different eh?

Damnnn, why does everyone looks so ugleh when they're younger. :/

maybe it's just me. :O

2011-06-17T12:47:00.003+08:00

And today is June 17th, a date to remember.

A Day In Klang

2011-06-11T07:15:00.004+08:00

There was this one day, I spent the night at my brother's girlfriend's house.

Then there, her mom taught me how to make these..

Don't really know what it's called. But it was a HOT experience. :/ Burnt my hands a lil bit while scooping it up from the hot water.

And it tasted awesome. Which i already knew. :D

Highlight of that day was this little scene i saw that impacted me for the whole day. :/

In the morning, i was at the market, Klang market, and it's been long since the last time i was at one.

I saw this old lady, who sells buns, like 'paus', and she was getting ready to prep the buns into the machine that keeps the buns warm and hot.

Then, i guess she slipped, most of the trays which the buns were contained in, fell on the floor. The floor was the road. And there was a heavy downpour earlier on, making the road, a wet disgusting road. Then she picked up one by one back into the tray.

You may think.. "ewww. yuck. is she gonna resell it?"

Not sure if she was going to. But i think she would coz' it was still early in the morning, business prolly hasn't started.

But THAT'S not my point.

What impacted me was, the trays of buns were her daily income that unfortunate day. And for one slip by mistake, and at that age, her daily income was pretty much gone.
[unless she resells it]

I felt super sorry for her man. I guess being out at this kinda place really opened our eyes to the ugly side of the apparent beautiful world, where reality sucks. I'd write her a freakin check on the spot if i was rich. Or at least some money if i had surplus allowance. Which too bad, i have neither. :(

An FML situation

2011-06-11T07:06:00.004+08:00

A situation that makes you go "fml":

Look at the floor.

fml.

This kinda situation is like an idiot test.

My first option was waiting for a passer-by and ask for help.

So i waited. And none.

Then i remembered the bottom part there, the cat kinda make a big hole, making the plastic fence detached from the grill.

So second option was using the umbrella and drag the keys forward.

And it worked! :D

Self-rescue FTW.

Ice Skating

2011-06-08T14:49:00.004+08:00

My body is aching all over.

It was a life experience on ice skating for the first time yesterday.

standing on the ice :D

Yu Yang the Ice skating mentor

It was school holiday, hence this many people. :(

Somethin wrong with my eyes and my peace sign. -.-

It was quite fun, at the same time scary. Think i fell about 5 times. And the worse part is the shoes. It's soooo hard it hurts like hell. I have bruises and cut after hours wearing them. :/

Had Korean food for dinner! And we had to wear silly apron. :/

This date last year, I BAKED. :) Still proud.

Redbox

2011-06-04T17:21:00.007+08:00

Last Thursday, it was funday! I went karaoke then movies. :/ Damn tired.

Went redbox with the pudgy monster, LIM CHIA ANN. It was my first time at Redbox, all grown up already eh? :p

Just the two of us.

Being all crazy, jumping on the cushion, screaming at the top of our lungs.

Cal and her emo song moment.

Singing with one hand and one leg :D cool much.

Innocent face on second frame.

Signature face on second frame.

Camwhore + karaoke.

Then, during the night, we watched Pirates 4: On strangers tide. The missionary guy is soooooo umm.. cute? Then, we were all walking zombies after movie.

Had cell last night!

Losers of the night. :D

So glad i didn't lose this week. I lost like two weeks in a row already. :/

Another one more week till i'm going back to a no place like home, say it with me.. *heavenly symphony playing and bright light shining*..

KUCHING.

teeeheee :D

Jack

2011-06-01T15:58:00.003+08:00

My latest masterpiece.

Jack sees no evil, hears no evil and speaks no evil. :)

Credits to Jack the monkey.

AS is Over.

2011-05-28T02:49:00.003+08:00

Though i'm not having as much fun as those days after PMR.

Or as those days after SPM.

I still wanna record this down on my blog..

..AS IS OVER!

Well.. it is. Unless i did very very badly that i have to re-sit. :(

Doesn't feel like it's a public exam knowing that A2 is 4 months away. -.-

I've got two weeks till i'm back in Kuching.

Okaaayyy emo moment:

today reminds me of the day spm ended. where we looked at each other and it was the face of liberation. where the night fell, and we had our very last party as a class. where days later, we went damai as an after-exam tradition. its funny how today feels like any other day but that.

Posted that on Max's wall. Exactly what i wanna say here too.

Anyway, bits and pieces of AS moments..

Starbucks the new study lounge.

Prepping for Math paper.

Yeah, that's about it. More to come, since now i'm free. And i've got nothing to do.

Did I get left behind?

2011-05-24T12:21:00.005+08:00

Guess the world didn't end after all!

Somehow, i really had the feeling it would. Part of me wonder all day long if i can bear the five months torture.

Dont think i'll get raptured. :/

I mean, how good do you judge yourself as?

I was prepared for it, telling myself that next day when i text Jon and if he didn't reply means he'd prolly got raptured. Think he's good enough to get that.

So it means, end of the world.

Funny thing was that on the day itself, a lot of people were wondering if they got left behind. Even my holy friends. :p Or maybe they're just being sarcastic. :D

Though it's like a joke somehow, it did do people some good.

Making people realize and cherish every minute of that day.

Everyone's posting shyt stuff on twitter like #endoftheworldconfession.

Had Happy Meal as the supposedly last supper.

The ol time favourite..

...Jellyfishing BFFs!

okay three more days to go for AS! :)

Week Two of AS

2011-05-20T14:48:00.004+08:00

Weeek two of AS is over.

This was how i studied for Economics. :/

One more week to go! 3 more papers to go!

2011-05-15T00:22:00.002+08:00

During the times when i need someone the most, i can hardly find any.

I feel so compelled tonight.

I just wanna get out from here badly.

When everyone's out having fun, only God knows what i was doing.

The Pig

2011-05-14T21:56:00.003+08:00

Do you sometimes forget about something that you used to do and one day, you're asked to do it, all the flashback came back?

I realized I havent drawn a pig for more than a year until yesterday.

I almost forgot how i used to draw it.

And it came with memories.

I used to flood someone's table by drawing a pig farm. Fun times.

Friday 13th

2011-05-14T16:36:00.004+08:00

Friday the 13th, my supposedly funday.

the picture says it all.

2011-05-13T16:30:00.001+08:00

That feeling of wanting to throw something.
That feeling of wanting to shout.
That feeling of wanting to punch someone.
And that feeling of crying so hard.

It was supposed to be my day.

AS

2011-05-07T10:54:00.002+08:00

My AS starts officially on Monday, which is like.. the day after tomorrow. For those who don't know, AS is a public external exam of A levels, marked by the angmos in UK. So is A2, but comes later in the year. So, this whole thing is like SPM again. Except that it's HARDER.

Told my mom on the day SPM ended, "I'm never sitting for a public exam again". Eating my own words now. :/

The whole AS will stretch out for 3 weeks. Means, 3 weeks of stress and full-time studying.

Anyway, I haven't really been on my real study mode. Been procrastinating like mad. Been sleeping at 5am the whole week. And tonight is my LAST chance of sleeping early to change back my sleeping schedule. It'd be awesome if i studied that's why i sleep at 5am the past week, except that I didn't! argh. :/

It may not seem like a big deal. But it is now my biggest weary. See, if i can't manage to change back my sleeping schedule tonight, means I will sleep at 5am on a Monday morning then sit for my paper at 9am. And i'd only have like 3 hours of sleep, which means, die.

So Lord, please help me to sleep like a normal Malaysian time. :(

I feel so scared now. About AS. Regret not realizing the gravity of it earlier, until last night.

3 subjects = 6 papers = 6 days

:(

The Labour Day Week

2011-05-04T18:19:00.002+08:00

Can't remember which day, there was one night, I had supper with Alvin then we just sat and talked. By the time we wanna go home, it was about 4smth am. :/

The street at 4am. :/

Then, my law classes was being held at the 9th floor where everything on that floor was fully renovated. The classroom smells like new furniture! :)

You can actually write on the WALL with whiteboard markers and still wipe it! (sorry i'm very sakai didn't know such technology existed.)

Then while in class, my friend plucked my supposedly white hair.

Not so clear. :/ But this one strand is actually BLACK then WHITE then BLACK.

Happy moments-exam moments-happy moments! :D

The view from the 9th floor. :D

The narrow corridor of 9th floor. :D

Then last Monday, went Breakfast + Lunch with the Rachel, Marilyn, Jon, Justy.

And no, not BRUNCH. Seriously breakfast then after that straight away lunch. :p

Dim Sum for breakfast. You don't see any coz' I only remembered taking pictures after I ate. :/

Then after that, we went for Nasi Lemak for lunch. :D But were quite stuffed already so we only had the Nasi Lemak's chicken each. I guess it was a good thing we went lunch coz' it was a super memorable moment. - why?

It's the moment we all watched CNN on the coffeeshop's TVs while waiting for our chicken! Sure it was nothing, except that "Osama is dead".

So now when I wanna look back to that moment which I knew Osama is dead, I will remember all of us sitting in a famous Nasi Lemak shop, waiting for our chicken. ;)

One week ago, my brother, awesomely brother, gave me his Iphone.

I'm grateful to the max man. Coz' how many occassion in life could you wake up to something expensive that is FREE? right?

But it's the old generation la. 3g. Slow much. :/ Nevertheless, still thankful. :D

Ohww ummm, all the events above do not follow chronology. Lazy.

I'll end this post with a special guest appearance..

..Jack! :D

2011-05-01T04:43:00.004+08:00

Thought i'd be fine, thought it'd be alright.

Thought it'd sufficed.

It didn't. It isn't going to be enough.

And there's nothing more that i can do.

Coz' it will never have the effect like before.

It will never outstand.

It's just this and this is all it ever will be.

Jon's 19th Birthday

2011-04-25T00:40:00.030+08:00

This is gonna be a long picture-fied post. :)

On 16th April, it was..

Jon the Tun Yang Teramat Yong Sui's birthday.

The borneo gang celebrated with him at Wong Kok restaurant coz' the guys wanted the free gigantic Teh C Peng for birthday people.

A rubbish-bin-sized Teh C Peng.

Me and Emily

Emily and Cal

Jon and Shaun

Kim and Jon

Cal and Jon

Emily and Jon

Alistair and Jon

The awesomer person than Jon, and Jon.

Alvin the girl and Jon. (he's a girl because he's not attracted to Jon, the male attraction mechanism, unlike the other guys)

Food!

Jon showing off the letter M on his food. Quote, "M stands for Marvelous and it meant me".

Camwhore in the toilet. :/

Them waiting for i dontknowwhat.

Then comes, WENDY.

Maybe they waited for Wendy. :/

Group shot 1 - Jon showing of his male attraction power.

Group shot 2 - Jon showing off his awesome height where all the guys were to tall to compete with him.

Group shot 3 - comes Alvin.

Group shot 4 - I was on the midst of shouting 'Sarawak' coz' of some stupid debate i had with Cal about which state is better.

Then after that, Jon went to McD drive thru for a second celebration. It was about 11pm.

Superstar wor. Everyone wants to celebrate with him.

Raymond and Jon.

Shirely, Marilyn and Rachel

Jon and the girls. :D

They bought him Happy Meal. Was like the ol' times when we celebrated our birthdays in McD when we were at the age of innocence.

Jon's Bffs.

Ray the fish, Jon the still yong sui, and Me dying a lil inside looking at Jon at such near range.

Jon the Male Attraction Mechanism, in action!

That moment when this picture was taken is rather funny.

Coz' Jon didn't wanna take nice pictures of us so he only snap when we were at our most candid moments. So when Jon finally decided to snap, like one second before he did, we all looked at the camera trying for a decent picture. So that explains why some of us looked impromptu.

Then after that, we all went for a photoshooting session.

Ronald McD and Rach.

Then we went to find..

...a professional photo shooting background.

Of pouted lips and sissy face.

Awesome background, no?

And..

..we were still at McD. :P

Then, we went to Taylor's Lakeside to take pigchurss. Random but yeah.

I thought we were supposed to act cool. :/

Wanna see how we got to this picture?

1.

2.

3.

Wanna see how we got to this picture?

1.

2.

3.

Like some horror movie poster eh? :) If it was a movie, it'd be named "Ghosts with watches".

Ledge shots:

Emo kids. :(

Don't know what are these that we're posing with.

Three awesome GIRLS. :D

We got so tired, we went to some place that's very rainforest-ish to rest..

Raye quote, "my sexy sleepy face".

Superrrmodels (except for Jon) :

Groupshots!

With the benefit of timer.

Anddddd..

.. my favorite picture. :)

Somehow that shot reminds me of this..

How I Met Your Mother picture.

Random. :/ But anyway, I feel like i'm some Jon's personal reporter who took down every minute of the events on the night of his birthday. I should get paid. :D

THINGS I DO FOR A, lets seee...5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18++, 14 YEARS OLD FRIEND.

Quote Jon, "Only one year kay. Don't remember knowing you in Tadika". Stupid guy. :/

The Holy Week

2011-04-24T23:56:00.007+08:00

Last week, i was bit more holy than usual.

My cell was responsible for last last Sunday's ushering.

Jon and Marilyn at the end there, greeting people and competing to see how many responds they could get.

Cell mates on duty.

Anyway, after that, last Thursday, i helped setting up the place before the Good Friday's event.

Aaron and Ben, the musicians.

This is what you can do when you're good at almost nothing. :D

The event was called "An appointment with death", thus we created the scene similar to a funeral service.

Poster work:

Then Jon went to do this. Which is an epic fail coz' the next day, the curtain dropped. -.-

The night passed by with everyone busy doing work, helping out and..

..there was Jon.

..being retarded. :)

The next day, Good Friday, we went to the event.

It was something like this.

The pastor talked about death and stuff like that. Quite sad. :/

Then, when there's a Good Friday, means there's an Easter Sunday. :)

Easter Sunday was last Sunday, and they had an event called the 'Easter Production', done by the youth, and when i say youth, i meant, secondary school kids! It was like a concert, and the most amazing part was that everything was done by them.

Them, leading the service.

It was like a real concert stage.

With real concert lighting.

They'd been practising, rehearsing for a month and half.

And they put on an awesome show.

Seriously, I was so amazed at their capability.

Makes me feel like I didn't done anything great in my teen years. :( And at that point, looking at them pulling off their effort, I was super amazed at them coz' they're younger, yet they could so something this BIG and GREAT.

Anyway, the sermon was equally as awesome coz' the pastor gave a speech that cleared so much of our doubts, so much of everything, and somehow brought us a step closer to the Lord.

Overall, best Easter service i had. :) Actually more like, best holy week I'd ever had.

The Lamb Dinner

2011-04-20T17:25:00.010+08:00

So before 7 stations of the Cross, cell mates brought us to this Meat Shop where we all had a lamb dinner.

The Meat Shop.

Sheep Utd Cell Group.

Prayer before dinner.

Me and Marilyn.

Yeeken and Rachel.

Desmond, James, Randy and Jon

Had an early celebration for Jon's birthday.

That. :D

3 pieces of lamb. :D I don't like lamb, since forever but this is nice.

Introducing Tun Yang Teramat Yong Shui.

who never stops eating.

Two awesome people beside an un-awesome short concentration span boy.

All from the Island of Borneo.

When baguette becomes more than just food.

Then we went to church for 7 stations of the Cross. It was like a life journey through each station where the question comes, what's your priority?

There was one part where i did not follow the instructions due to the influence of the people ahead of me when my instinct told me otherwise. Yet, i followed the people ahead of me. Then later, i realized it was a mistake and that i should have followed my instinct on the instructions. Regrets compelled since it would be rather meaningless if i go back there though it's just one floor down and undo my mistake coz' in real life, can you go back in time to undo those mistakes? No right.

So i learnt something from that. It was like a message from above that you should never get influenced by others when you're making a decision but rather listen to the calling from your heart. That's also if your instinct is consciencely right la. :D

Overall, that event made us reflected upon our lives, which was really important coz' then we could get our priorities right.

Lippy's 19th Birthday

2011-04-16T02:48:00.008+08:00

The community thingy that i'm supposed to go last Saturday, got postponed to another date. And I don't think i can go anymore coz' that date is super near my AS exam. :(

Last Saturday we had a celebration for Lippy's 19th birthday. I had fun meeting up with my secondary classmates, you know lah those people who always had their pictures popped up so often in this blog back then. :P It was an early celebration for Lippy.

We went Sunway for lunch.

Bieber TuneTalk hybrid. :/

Anyway, i got this for Lippy.

Mini Ty Swinger. :)

Had our lunch at Fullhouse.

Elaine's priceless look.

Awesome straw. :D

Them eating.

We got her slices of cake too. Three different flavours. One choc cheese, one banana smth, and one durian flavoured. :/

As usual, Amanda crashing into people's special moment. :p

DURIAN CAKE. ugh.

Banana + choc cake.

Ohw didn't take any picture of choc cheese coz' it was so nice, we finished it. fast.

Freezing the flame for good.

Seeee what i meant about the durian cake? :P

Then after that, they all left while i stayed back to wait for Jon. So i explored.

Came across this awesome camera shop.

Then, later that night, had a lamb dinner with cell group, before we marched into the 7 stations of the Cross in church.

Btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIPPY.

Acoustic babyyy

2011-04-14T23:42:00.006+08:00

The best part about the aftermath of trials is that you don't have to worry about anything anymore. And the air you breathe smells like freedom. :)

Making the best out of freedom, I slept at 6am all the way till 3.15pm today. Then, I went to Max's house coz' i wanted her help in changing my blog template. But failed. :( She was studyin like mad.

Anyway, few weeks ago, I bought this baby..

300 bucks acoustic.

Burnt a very very big hole in my bank for that. Not sure if it was impulsive buying. I never equipped myself with anythin back in secondary years. Regret much, I graduated high school without knowing how to do a lot of things. More like anything. Debate, musical, sports, nothing. Just wasted all my time doing things that lasted the moment, but not things that can last a lifetime. So now, it's time to fix things up.

I was in Max's room. (her pyjamas hanging on the wall and celeb posters, not mine.)

So yeah. That was pretty much my day.

Sidenote: I realized its the little things that make you realize who are those you can count on. :)

Trials and Community Programme

2011-04-14T03:31:00.007+08:00

I had my trials the past two weeks. Which explained why i haven't been updating much - was being on my nerd mode, studyin and burning midnight oil, waking up super early to study and the first day, i had Alvin to accompany me around 6smth am for breakfast at McD.

Can say that i seriously studied. And I felt super relieved each subject is over. Today was my last subject - law. The thing about CAL law is that, you're never given enough time to write your essays. For me, i did 14 pages in 3 hours, comprising of paper 1 and 2. Best record so far. :) So who can do 14 pages or more in 3 hours? LAW STUDENTS. - dare not say i'll become one since the future is unpredictable. But anyway, i think it's quite impressive, and i'd say it's crazy insane handwork i've got there. However, leads to sore and pain in the midst of writing and afterward. :/

Okaaay. What i did two Saturdays ago.

It was like a red event.

Went to this community centre where we held activities with the kids. The theme for that day was - Don't Give Up.

The last time i participated in a voluntary work was when I was 16, 2008. Through Interact Club and Church events. So it's about 2 years since.

Jon, being the bravest among all, the MC of the game. (speaking in BM)

Marilyn, just like me, struggling to communicate in BM.

Then we had the arts and crafts session. Actually more like just art.

All the facilitators are to be in the group of 2-3 kids.

Our group.

The kids in our group are of older age, therefore, they are a bit more quiet than the little ones. Could say that it was bit difficult to communicate since i tend to fail at BM oral back in school last time. I needed time to translate the English words and sentence in my mind beforehand. So you can see how slow i had to speak. Nevertheless, i tried. :)

Another funny thing is that, Jon being at his best, inspiring as always, tried to inspire the kids with words of wisdom and metaphors that relate to the theme of the day. I could understand perfectly well what he said but i doubt the kids understand as well. But still, thumbs up for the effort and dedication.

During the singing session where all the kids stood and sang along, a boy decided to stand out from the rest.

Jon to the rescue. (though he looked pretty much like a pedo here).

Jon to the rescue - making a difference to that one kid who was reluctant to participate.

The whole programme took place in one Saturday morning. Yes, i'd given up sleep for this. :) It was awesome. We're supposed to teach the kids not to give up in any situations, but i think I was being educated of the same, through the process. As we all know, i'm one who give up easily, proven by many experiences in life.

Then onwards, I often recall myself telling the kids not to give up, whenever i felt like slacking for my trials. I can tell you, there are many times i just wanna stop reading, stop studyin or taking longer breaks than necessary which further makes me feel like not giving a damn about my exam. Then it crossed my mind that i'd told the kids not to give up. I guess such thought motivated me back to study. :/ It was like "dont give up man. just bear with it a lil while more".

So yeah. Felt like it did me lots of good, like as if it was preparing me for trials. This coming Saturday, we're going back there again. This time, the theme will be "Ambition". :)

2011-04-04T03:30:00.002+08:00

WATER IS BACK.

:)

Water Crisis Day Two

2011-04-03T01:55:00.006+08:00

Okaaay. Water is still out. :( It's a natural disaster here. Everyone's having mental breakdown inflicted by the water crisis. Or maybe it's just me. :/

I feel like this is karma. Know why? Coz' i have a tendency to torture my SIMS character when i play The Sims 3. Sometimes, i get so lazy i don't fulfill their 'needs' so all the necessity bars turned red and they got depressed, started crying, shouting etc.

NOW, i know how it feels like to be one of the character. Imagine having your sinks, tubs and shower being sold and you do not have all these water facilities at home. Then your hygiene bar turned red. You're depressed and unhappy. :(

Honestly after taking a shower at Max's house, i felt so happy. I mean, though it sucks, but it becomes a lesson to be learnt. When we all had water, we showered and that's it. There's no addition thoughts or feelings to it. Sometimes, we tend to even get lazy to shower so many times a day.

But now, the past two days, TWO DAYS, who knew water was so precious. Everyone's desperate for water, 7eleven is out of big bottles of water, and some are hogging the public tap near the swimming pool. Just being able to get ONE freakin shower, can make your day already.

So yeah. It's basically like a slice of bread when you're starving for days. THAT happiness. :)

This picture beats any FOOD pictures now.

If you're asking where do i take it when i need to use the toilet, i tell you, anywhere but the two toilets shared by 6, in my unit. It's not even imagination-possible coz' it's DISGUSTING to be even visually interpreted in mind. Well if you really do wanna imagine, it's just like a small pond where everyone throws everything into the pond and it has no exit. Stagnant.

Anyway, i usually hold it and use commercial buildings' toilets. Ta-daaa. :D

When

desperation

meets

water

It's safe to say that we're now..

..water zombies. (not suitable for faint-hearted viewers)

2011-04-02T02:59:00.003+08:00

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel, like you're less than, less than perfect.

Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel, like you're nothing, you are perfect to me.

Water crisis

2011-04-02T01:10:00.002+08:00

The water supply got cut off again today. This time, it affected everyone in the whole area. I've seen people took desperate measures like filling up bottles of filtered water perhaps to shower etc, going to the public tap to brush their teeth and stuff, and some walked to school to use the bathroom/toilet.

Thank goodness somehow Max's unit has bit of water. Though the pressure was low and the water seem kinda small, but it's good enough. :D Had my shower there tonight.

Tomorrow, i'm gonna do something that i haven't done for a while since high school, that is, charity work - visiting little kids and playing games with them at some area that i don't know of. :D

Worse case scenario : Water

2011-03-30T01:56:00.003+08:00

One of the worse case scenarios you can expect from living alone is when all of a sudden, the whole unit has no water. Honestly, i'd rather there be a current breakdown than a water supply cut off.

When there's no water, you can't shower, flush, wash your face and stuffs. And i'm living in a unit where there's 5 other people. So yeah. Everyone's limiting their bladder i supposed. As disgusting as it sounds, it is. We haven't showered.

I could probably go over to another friend's house just to shower and stuff, but i didn't coz' i freakinly thought that the water supply would come back in a few hours time and now i can't anymore coz' it's 2am. Stupid move, i'd say.

Of Cal's 19th Pre-Birthday Party

2011-03-29T01:27:00.006+08:00

Things i did on late Saturday night/early Sunday morning:

Went to a bar with this pre-birthday girl and another six of us.

Had a few drinks, played a crazy truth game that i'm tad bit regret playing coz' sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

Jack Daniel's shot.

After the bar, when we had quite a few drinks, we went to the club.

Euphoria by M.O.S.

Where we danced to the song, to the extent of a hike in guts under the suppression of alcohol. :/ Had a couple more shots in the club.

Intoxicated guts that conscious mind will not attempt. :P (Birthday Girl)

Derek at his best moves.

Then finally, around almost 3am, we went back to our area and had early breakfast at McD.

The obvious difference of my eyes.

McD had a current breakdown all of a sudden. -.-

Might seem kinda gross but this is what happens when you danced in a pair of heels you might have probably wore like less than 5 times a year..

Sigh.

So yeah, it was fun. No one got drunk, everyone was sober and clear. Just an awesome boost in confidence and guts that made us do crazy things.

2011-03-28T12:16:00.002+08:00

Been having countless flashbacks lately that I just tend to gaze off, staring into blank space. Surprised that, i could still remember everything so clearly after so much time has passed. They say time would heal a wound, it hasn't been anyway true to me yet.

Kinda waste of time having these impromptu flashbacks, coz' they are like black and white photos, memories that are just merely frozen moments of things that no longer exist. It's rather pointless when you feel something for these memories coz' no one else cares about them. To some, it may have been long forgotten, or vaguely remembered. To some, it may be something that they don't wanna be reminded of. And to me, it's there, clear as hell, like it or not, can't do anything about it.

Static

2011-03-26T16:23:00.003+08:00

Today is Earth Hour. And like anyone else, there's always a significant memory that marked the day.

There aren't many left in this area compared to last year. Somehow, i kinda feel that in the near future, it'd pretty much be just myself. People whom i revolved myself with now, they'll lead their own lives away from this area, one way or another. And i won't deny that there will be some point in the year where i'll feel at my worst, lonely.

Like Orion, who's always pointing his bow at the very same angle, nothing's changed, and perhaps nothing will ever be. Makes me think that, i'm pretty much like him since my life's been the same for the past two years. And it makes it worse when, everyone else around me is moving on so well.

The Myth

2011-03-22T17:10:00.007+08:00

Supposed to be studying but, I re-watched an old movie last night.

That's the soundtrack of the movie. Though it sounds so ancient and chinesey, the song is awesome! And the movie is AWESOMER. It's a must-watch movie, i'd say.

It's about an archaeologist who kept having dreams related to events of his past life, as a general in the Qin Dynasty. The movie portrays between two different times and eras. The general was tasked to protect and escort a Korean princess back to the Emperor as his concubine. However, along the way, they fell in love.

WATCH.WATCH.WATCH!

Toilet rolls and off-topic

2011-03-22T16:39:00.005+08:00

I've noticed the very common topic that people my age or people around me have. Months ago, i had a conversation with Mchan and Vivien about how fast we finished our toilet rolls and how many pieces we used at a time. Was kinda weird topic but it lasted quite long. Then few days ago, i heard the same thing again discussed among Emily, Max and Kim. And today, i heard the same topic again in class being shared among my classmates. :/

I thought it was just Mchan, Vivien and me being purely retarded. Guess not. :P My classmates them are being even more retarded coz' they're having some kinda "constipation competition" whereby whoever goes to toilet first within a time frame, say a day, would get one point. Like 2-1. (this game was initiated coz' they're all having constipation recently -.-)

Anyway, Kinda miss those times when i tortured Mtard(Mchan + Retard) whereby i asked him a lot of personal guy stuff questions. :D Okay, it was weird and awkward but after a while, it was super interesting coz' it is the stuff that we, as girls will never know. But i know! eg. "Have you ever jizz in the cinema?"

Lol, in case you dont know what does it mean by "jizz", should go listen to lonely island songs. :/ Which i don't always listen but only did once due to influence from the guys here.

Though i never really got exact answers and most were vague, but it was still very intriguing.

How Mtard looks like in a super awesome human being's eyes.

Unfortunately this retard left for studies to Adelaide. Guess it's bit dull not having anyone to argue with anymore around here where all sorts of crap stuffs became arguable and all sorts of insulting names we used to throw at each other. It's just peace and quiet now. :/

Mom and Midterm break

2011-03-20T00:45:00.004+08:00

I hate times like this when you wished holiday was longer. :( Been walking around from mall to mall the past week with mom. Been having a life outside from ss15 the past week. Been karaoking with her at 2am singing oldies. But she left for Kuching today. Sent her off and didn't have the time to think about if i'd be not used to it coz' i was crazy tired from waking up early this morning. I thought i'd be fine, and everything is just the way it used to be. But after my nap, i wasn't exactly fine.

I kinda miss her already. :(

Oh well, school's starting in a day's time. Trial's another 2 weeks. Focus.

Tribute to SS15 Borneo Gang

2011-03-19T02:18:00.002+08:00

Before the year ended last year, i made this video for everyone in the SS15 gang. And though it's not some awesome with super cool effect video, i'm still quite proud of it.

Not so bad right. :) I kinda miss a lot of people in this video. :(

Midterm break's over :(

2011-03-19T01:18:00.003+08:00

There are times in a day where i remind myself not to give in, coz' if i do, i'll never make a leap from where i stand. And now is one of those times.

My one week break is almost over. Mom came to visit me for the entire week. Though there's a lot of things i can't do, and freedom was bit restricted, it was worth it. Think i'd really miss her when she leaves for home.

My trials is another two weeks from now. Feel so pressured already yet still procrastinating like crazy. No mood to even take pictures anymore nowadays coz' my phone cam sucks.

This year's resolution: GET A FREAKIN DSLR ALREADY. :(

Been so addicted and emofied over this song lately. :/

See what i mean? Damn sad song with damn sad lyrics. Damn typical chinese song.

On a lighter note, you guys should get yourself addicted to CHUCK and how i met your mother. (if there's anyone reading this even) :D

2011-03-17T02:38:00.003+08:00

It's weird that things that you don't want always come to you but not those that you really want.

It's weird that you only think of the impossibles, and sometimes leave the unresolved feelings for the impossibles.

And then, you're so tired of it all, but they still bother you anyway.

It'd be most perfect when you want something and miraculously it comes to you without even trying to go for it. :(

When unpredictables happened

2011-03-12T01:33:00.012+08:00

Exactly 12 hours ago, a massive tsunami hit Japan, destroying countless buildings and homes. But that's not so bad, coz' the worse part is, about few hundred people died on the very same day, by difference of perhaps seconds to minutes only.

And at the time of what took place, i was hangin around, perfectly felt like any other day, and not a subtle hint of what's going on around the world. Only about 6 hours later, i was told.

Truthfully, i'm contented for where i was born, coz' so far there isn't any major disaster affecting our country directly, at least for the past 19 years of what i'm aware of. Compared to another person in Japan, perhaps earthquake already seemed like a common thing around in those 19 years, and constantly living in the fear of when might be the next major quake. For that, Lord i have you to thank for. But those people there, suffering from injuries, weary for the ones that are missing, and mourning for the death of their loved ones, need a greater volume of Lord's miracle, and blessing.

Thus, as another being, try to put yourself in their shoes. If you were one of the unfortunates, driving along the road in Japan one ordinary day, did you know you were gonna die today? And suddenly, in matter of seconds, *bam*, maybe the last image caught in mind was the color of the water hitting your face, suffocating you.

That's how stunned and traumatized for those that managed to survive the terror. So be a human, pray for them. That's the least i think we, as the fortunate ones, can do.

Along November 2010 till present day

2011-03-10T04:07:00.009+08:00

Retardation due to exam stress. :D :D

Meeting up with the awesome old people. :p

Last Barbecue of 2010

Last almost-everyone-in-it photo in ss15

In Decemeber, the ss15 gang went Damai. :D

Dinner with the awesome highschool-mates

Turned 19th on 20.01.11 :(

Wore a cheongsam for CNY coz' of Derek's dare on wearing traditional.

Reuniting with people i grew up with. :)

On the same flight with Jon back to KL. :P

Did a school project thingy which was to paint..

..a logo this huge.

Then, Alvin's 19th birthday where he bought us dinner :D

Taking picture at 5am with a new ugleh haircut and a constipated face on the present day which in another few hours, gonna crash and burn in class :|

2011-03-10T03:34:00.002+08:00

There are certain people in this world who tend to create problems and causing external costs to people around. And there are some people who follow what another says regardless of how sensible another is. But there are always those who cannot understand the logic of the problem and stand how another follows though incurring the external costs for nothing.

I am all three, of different times.

Nostalgia

2010-12-04T00:36:00.002+08:00

So much had happened the past 5 months that i was here. Mostly good times. I was so accomodated that i hardly had the time to settle and write this almost abandoned blog. And now everything has ended. It's sad to say that at some point, no matter how hard you enjoyed, how great life has been, you have to hit back to reality. And just like a little kid, you wonder why can't dreams go on forever.

When i first came, 5 months later still seemed so far away, never had i imagined that everything would end. But until the last couple days of that 5 months, it hit me that, "my dream is ending, the dream that i'd pursued and had, was coming to an end". To be honest, it didn't feel like everyone's gone, it felt more like as if they were taking an earlier vacation and they would come back maybe some time later. It didn't feel like they were gone, for good.

As the mind contradicts the heart, the fact is that they will never returned. Perhaps, i've got so used to the past 5 months that it's kinda hard to accept the fact that things will never be the same here anymore. And it makes it even more difficult when the closest friend i had here, left. I guess it's that emptiness where you know you can't do all this and that anymore.

It would have been great if every single place here didn't have to remind me about the things we used to do. But all these places here just had to be so damn nostalgic. Even a 7eleven shop.

:(

2010-11-14T20:46:00.002+08:00

14.11.2010

Happy 18th Birthday, Emily L :)

2010-10-01T10:37:00.005+08:00

Wake me up when September ends.

9 Days Home

2010-09-30T18:11:00.007+08:00

Okay. SO much for those deep stuffs, i shall update something else like..

..the ONE WEEK i went back to Kuching for Raya holidays. :)

The guy who killed my boredom throughout the whole journey home, Wui Yon.

First night was kinda sucky coz' i got all nostalgic and stuffs. Then second night, a loser by the name of Melvin Chan recommended us to a new hang out place near Sarawak Club. Can't remember the name, but mostly elders hang out there. :/

Shaun, Me, Mchan, and Emily.

Then we went for pool.

Mchan with his signature pool face.

Third night, we went CS. Doing our ss15 usual routine..

Mchan, Andy, and Emily.

Dawson, Shaun, Nelson, Mchan behind Nelson, Kim, Emily, Yu Yang and Andy.

Fourth Day we went..

..Bing!

Dinner with Derek, Sebastian and Alistair Y.

Mchan the OKU. Quote by him, "thats not for OKU. Thats just for a person with big ass".

Day 5, met up with Marilyn..

..doing her usual stuff at Big Apples. CHOCOLATE.

The Seventh Day, bowling competition..

Yang and emily.

Wendy

The guy living in his fantasy world.

On the same night, i had dinner gathering at Living Room.

..classsmates. :) (Amanda taking the picture)

Taken in Jambu, which later the venue switched to Living room.

The 8th Night, Resident Evil Night..

Cake time before movie.

Then, Supper time!

Alvin and meee.

The 9th Day, my last night..

..Played Chess and Uno Stacko at Tarot.

Went to the Lim's house.

Visited Emily before we went home.

That evening before departure..

Kim and me at Starbucks.

And.. that was it. A week that i never looked forward to, turned out to be the most awesome week of the year. :) so far.

2010-09-30T10:47:00.002+08:00

If there was that possibility to turn back time, then there would be that possibility that things could have been different, perhaps, we didn't have to lose what we'd been fighting for.

2010-09-21T20:40:00.002+08:00

Today, i fell in the rain while getting someone an umbrella.

2010-09-03T08:38:00.003+08:00

It's September. The Raya break is starting. At first, this one week break seemed so far from us. But time just had to pass so fast.

I'm going back to that city where all memories are like spirits roaming around every corner to haunt me. At first, i was uncertain of how it'll be like being back there again. I was certainly not looking forward to it. But this entire week, i'd been wishing that Friday won't come so fast. I guess i'm afraid. I guess i really don't wanna go back there again.

The last time i was there, i was a lot of things. But right now, right when i'm there again, it feels like i don't belong.

I don't wanna be reminded of anything, and though it sounds like running away from what i should overcome, well yeah, i am that scared to face anything and everything.

I guess i can only cross my fingers, and hope that it won't be that bad, this trip back home.

July+August

2010-08-28T11:06:00.005+08:00

Today is exactly two months that i'm here. Some date which i don't think i can forget. Another week, i'll be going home. Though, i'm still uncertain of that feeling of returning.

Anyways, here's a summary of what i did the past 2 months..

First time using KTM. To Klcc.

A random durian night

Existence of Simba and Oliver

MTV world stage '10

Katy Perry at MTV world stage.

August babies birthday celebration

Jamming night

Existence of Oreo, Milkshake and Chubster.

The Opera Night

So that's about it. :D

Ongoing

2010-08-12T00:13:00.003+08:00

Thought of giving up this 4 years old diary countless times. It brings about joy, brings about tears, and phases that i never wanna be reminded of.

I wanted to give this up because it reminds me so much of everything and anything. But then again, whatever happens, wherever i am, i'll always end up coming to this page. It's like the only thing connecting myself and my life. It's like this time machine that carries me backwards to watch myself grow out from whatever i was.

I won't deny that everything here has been clouded now. But what i do believe is that, the sun will shine again.. soon. Like it always does.

And yes, my 4 years long creation will survive. :]

2010-07-28T12:56:00.001+08:00

WORLD STAGE IN TWO DAYS.

wooooots! :)

Blessing in Disguise

2010-06-27T13:33:00.007+08:00

This is the hardest phase in life. I thought i could avoid it, perhaps trial and error after so many times, i would have got this right. Yet, i let my emotions took over, i let my selfishness took over when i was in the happiest moments. I was blinded what i have been, and overlooked how i should have been. Because i was living the moment, too caught up with myself, that in the end i slowly lose this only thing i wanted to keep a lifetime. And stubborn i was that all this while i thought i was right, i thought i was the bigger person in this, i thought i deserve this and that it was unfair for me. I was so unsatisfied with how everything fell apart coz' i really gave in everything believing that this is it.

I can't stop the playbacks in my head. The neverending re-runs. But through those endless re-runs, i slowly remember how many times i have failed you. My biggest regret is taking away your life. And my second biggest regret is that i sided a stranger instead of being on your side one time and it ended up as a fight for someone whom i don't even know. I should have been on your side no matter who's fault it was. But now, all those can only be "i should have", regrets that are eating me up and wanting to turn back time to undo those so badly.

I used to give just to see you happy. But the more i got involved, i guess i was giving, at the same time expecting something from you. Perhaps the past months, giving just so you won't leave. I thought i was selfless all this while. I thought i was so selfless that i could do anythin or give anythin, yet now i know that with an unknowing intention. Perhaps, still like to see you happy with what i've done, but expecting that you'll always stay.

It makes me feel like a kid again through this whole time. But i don't deny that, i was really happy feeling like a kid. Couldn't have been more childish and naive. I thought i could have what i wanted, i thought i could make things go my way, and i didn't want to believe what i didn't like to hear. I guess i was living in denial for so long. Making your life miserable too that you have to bear with it for so long, with those white lies just so you wouldn't hurt me.

I really changed, didn't i? I was once more matured, a little more independent, a little stronger. And now, i'm the total opposite.

The more i think about it, the more i feel bad about this whole thing, the more i regret for what i could have been, the more i feel like it's entirely my fault. Despite how much i wanted this, wanted this to be for once, different, i really don't have a say anymore. I gave so many dumb reasons, and i'm sorry for putting my past pressure on you. You don't deserve that, you don't owe me nor you're not a saint to save me. I really wanted you to stay because of who you are. But thinking with my brain, rather than my heart, i seriously don't know what reason is there that you would choose to stay. And it's not fair for you to stay without the heart to either.

You're the bigger person. Can't tell you how touched i am that you got me through all those hard times, comforts and advices. You gave me things that people don't bother. You could see those little things and try not to be insensitive just so you won't hurt me. You told me not to think about what others think when making a decision. You would always be there and say "we'll go through this together kay?" when we were having a hard time, or when i was facing a hardship. Knowing you, i learnt so much about myself although at first i was in denial but i finally see it through. All these are what you wanted me to realize, isn't it?

But i'm glad that i have the best memories with you. Though it hurts looking back, but somehow it gives me the most sincere smile thinkin about how funny we were. .

Remember how i always said, "it's like watching a movie." I guess i got myself too involved rather than just watching it.

Thanks for everything, at the same time, I'm sorry for everything i put you through. I can't describe how sorry i am even for that day that i blamed you for everythin. If saying sorry can make you feel better, i'd say a million of them. I'm truly sorry.

2010-06-25T19:28:00.003+08:00

When you thought things couldn't have been more worse..

Decided to take a short trip to Permai to lift things off my mind.

I was pushed into the pool because a friend of mine didn't know I had my phone with me.

That moment when you know you can't stop yourself from falling, when you're in the midst of falling, THAT FEAR where you screamed "NO! DON'T!!! I HAVE MY PHONE!!!" just because you couldn't afford to lose everything in the phone. That fear like as if someone's pushing you off a 10th floor building and you're not ready to die because you have a reason to live for, but you shouted NO anyway even though it's pathetic coz' there was nothing you could do to fight gravity.

The first thing that crossed my mine was all those memories kept in it.

I couldn't be more overwhelmed knowing that the only thing i was capable of keeping, is gone.

It was the one thing i was left with.

Trying so hard to hold back what was about to burst in me while trying to revive the phone. Trying to save what's left in it. Trying to save those bittersweet memories.

I wanted to cry so badly. I really wanted to. I'm tryin so hard to keep whatever there is and..

Why is life so fckin unfair that even the last thing has to be taken away from me?!

Having to recover the data in it is like 0.00001%. Please please please give me back at least this little piece. :( But it feels like i'm hoping on something impossible. :(

Drenched wet, felt bloody cold but couldn't care less, went straight back to town to get it fixed.

Even though that happened like 4 hours ago, even after going home, showered and changed. Why do i still feel freakin cold? :(

One Year Late Post

2010-06-17T15:47:00.003+08:00

This date, last year was a usual Wednesday for most people. For some, it was a Chemistry tuition in the afternoon which most of us hated, and which i skipped.

For me, it was the first time i've experienced the hard cold fact of life where i spent weeks, unable to believe.

An event where countless times i tried to blog about, but unable to bring myself to talk about it.

It's been a year, although i still feel so sour each time i bring myself back to that day.

I am glad that, that year i wasn't alone. Because i cannot imagine going through that alone. I can't be more content that the one person i needed the most was there for me, getting me by. It often comes to mind that, what would i do if i never had that friend that year?

For days, weeks, i can suddenly teared no matter where i was, what i was doing. Those memories and regrets just kept playing back in my head. I hated myself that i was lazy to visit you on weekends. And now.. i'll never ever get the chance to. It makes me regret even more knowing that i've always been your favourite.

I hope you're doing well, grandma. :'( I miss you.

2010-06-12T13:32:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i wonder if it is really plain selfish, or you're just tryin to make me grow up. Perhaps being so hurtful, with a good intention behind. I wish to believe that all that were a white lie and that you truly do not mean to hurt me like this.

I wish you're doing all that coz' you wanted me to be strong for myself or perhaps making me independent. And that it hurts you too quietly each time you drop these whole apparent hurtful truths i seek for.

Even when you tell me it's all plain selfishness, I still wish to believe the good in you.

But watching you being so okay and normal, makes me really scared that what I believed would be wrong. Because I couldn't tell if you're lying. Or are you just being good in acting?

I know the wrongs I did. But what i wanted has never changed. And what you want now.. is anything but not what I want right?

Look what I can do. :D

2010-06-09T23:02:00.006+08:00

Dear diary, i gotta record this.

I BAKED FOR THE FREAKIN FIRST TIME YESTERDAY!

And i forgot to take pictures of them. -.-

Anyway..

This is from google.

Looks the same as mine lah. I think mine prettier.

I baked about 30 pieces. Only about 10 pieces are perfect, which i gave them all to Emily W. [so nice right!] And all the failed ones are either burnt soo black or too soft.

I still can't believe i baked. My house smells like famous amos, yesterday. :P

I had to follow the directions according to the recipe and there were certain words that i didn't know what the hell they meant that i had to run back and forth, from the kitchen to my room to google the meaning of the words. LOL.

Like.. "light and fluffy".

WTH?! it makes me think of puppies, hairy puppies. :/

I had to google the picture of how light and fluffy the mixture had to be.

But yay! Success anyway. :D

Oh! forgot to mention, it was Choc Chip Cookies. :P

2010-06-06T00:40:00.002+08:00

I wish i can get up one day, and start new too.

Official trip!

2010-06-05T19:05:00.004+08:00

So i went KL few days ago for some official stuff. And visited someone before i left.

Emily wooooong! :P

And Vivieeeennn Phang too. :D

And yeah, i had to dress officially for my official stuff. :( Contrast much.

2010-05-27T23:28:00.002+08:00

My life is so boring, i don't even know what to blog about. D:

Blog on hiatus until further "happening" notice. >:)

JPA

2010-05-21T20:12:00.003+08:00

So. I didn't get it.

And the two loyal readers of my blog got it.

Congrats Amanda and Lippy. :)

Pre-JPA result

2010-05-21T11:47:00.003+08:00

I skipped school today.

I thought I would be sleeping till late noon.

But what the heck, i woke up at 930am. And this was after my several attempts of forcing myself back to sleep.

So this is it, today.

The very day that might or might not affect most of our lives.

At least I know, it will change my life whatever the result is.

About 3 hours to go.

3 hours to know, what's the next step I should take.

It's all in Your hands, Lord.

Drama in a Guy School.

2010-05-20T15:01:00.003+08:00

Today, i saw something that I've never seen before in my entire school life. :P Guess!

Well, for most of you peeps, prolly haven't seen such thing too.

I witnessed a fight in school! Not surprising though coz' it's a total guy school. =.=" But it's the first for us. It's damn lame though and I could hardly see anything coz' all the kaypo guys from everywhere went nearer to watch and crowded the fight. Apparently, it's about this one big group of seniors fighting with two little juniors. And the funny part was that, the prefects were nowhere to be seen at such critical moment. Unlike St3, prolly coz' it's small, all the kaypo prefects will be there efficiently however small the fight is.

Nevertheless, I wish they would put on such show everyday. :(

Wokay! Not going to school tomorrow, seriously. :)

Bio-fied.

2010-05-19T20:56:00.006+08:00

I feel like blogging all of a sudden. Weird much.

So i've been experiencing school life again. But it's way way different than high school. :( Every time in the midst of some lesson, my mind would wander off a lil while and then i would start feeling nostalgic for like 10 minutes.

I had 3 periods of Biology today. And i struggled to stay awake the last 20 minutes. And then my bio teacher is awesomely strict. She gives quiz every single day which if you fail to answer, you will be sentenced to STANDING for whole long periods of Biology lesson.

Oh, and my bio teacher fines people for saying "OMG" like in the full term. Fine one buck to class fund okay.

I totally don't get a single thing in Chemistry. Mass spectrum, relative abundance, isotopic mass all this kinda terms. I don't get it. D:

English was umm okay. PA which is known as thinking skills in BM version, sucks.

Everyday I tell myself, "i'm skipping school tomorrow!", but I ended up going the next day. =.="
I'm supposed to study Bio right now but I just feel that it's a bit pointless coz' I'm not even gonna end up taking Bio for my career pathway.

The only thing which benefits me is Math. I'm sure it'll come handy in college.

It's my fourth day in school tomorrow. I AM SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY NOT GOING ON FRIDAY but WAIT FOR FREAKIN JPA TO COME OUT. :D

Since my blog is sooo dull for the fact that I hardly take pictures anymore, I'll post old photos! :P

AMANDA TRYING TO OUT-HEIGHT US FOR ONCE. :P

Funny much that, most of these peeps are long gone from my daily life, yet I still talked about them in my blog so often. Some things just don't change eh?

2010-05-17T21:06:00.002+08:00

Every cloud has a silverlining.

Where is it? :(

2010-05-11T12:53:00.003+08:00

My world is falling apart.

I don't know how to take all of these. :(

2010-04-30T00:33:00.001+08:00

rather an idiot, than to lose you.

Manglish Class

2010-04-28T20:52:00.003+08:00

So school started again. It's english class by the way. According to Jaz, "why do we have to take it? I tell people i attend english class, they were like "wtf. you fail english in SPM meh?"

Brains or no brains, must take leh.

Got exam some more wor.

I can't stop speaking manglish now coz' my English teacher does that more often than we do.

Eg.

"15 minutes max. No more LIAO AH."

"Serious ah?"

"Okay lah."

"Okay loh"

Teacher: Academically poor etc.
Prit: SUKU!
Teacher: Academically poor doesnt mean they are SUKU okay!

I have a bloody awesome teacher than YOU. Say it. :P

Primary school secondary school english teachers will be utterly disappointed to know that the many years of effort poured on me will be thrown into the sea with the presence of my bloody awesome college teacher. :D

2010-04-28T15:53:00.001+08:00

Recently, I heard a very funny joke.

"Amanda is going to start a blog."

:D

It's like asking a fish to talk.

This is how I describe my super-dead blog.

2010-04-22T03:17:00.004+08:00

I find my blog friggin dull now. No pictures. All words. Reminds me of the first day that I was introduced into picture-less books, some years in Primary school. :(

Honestly, I hated years of growing up. When i first started pre-school, I was so happy to read. The words are all GIGANTIC. Each page practically consisted less than 7 words and page-sized pictures. Then, life began to suck when after each book, the words per page increased, the pictures grew smaller. Soon, the words are as tiny as ants. Picture-less.

Which explains why I never could have finished a novel even being 18th. Except occasional. :)

18th : The Lost Year.

2010-04-22T02:46:00.002+08:00

I am so tired of worrying what my future holds for me. I am sick of figuring myself out. All i knew and had in mind when i was in high school was "to get good grades for this term, next term, next next term, mock exam, and finally SPM". And life after that? I had none.

Except for the crazy awesome days which didn't last long after SPM.

I know I should have planned and see the life after this public exam which everyone's been workin their asses off for, the last 5 years.

But i didn't. All the career talks, education fairs that the school provided were no help to me at all. I never found what i like. I never liked anything at all actually. Bio, Chem, Phy, and the rest 7 subjects were subjects that I have no feelings for, like I have a choice whether or not to take it coz' it's effing compulsory. All 10 of them. I can't say that I hated them, can't say I loved them either. Neutral. All for the sake of exam, parents, peer pressure, and a hell lot, but never lead me to the idea of what to become.

I wish I was Form 3 all over again, who worked really hard to excel PMR. And having two long years, unweary of what's life after 17th.

I wanna emphasise on the fact that 18th used to be the number we're all looking forward to. But now, it's the worse year in 18 years of my effin life. Seriously, 7 months jobless, educationless and all day sleep + online. I never thought i would spend 7 months doing nothing, literally.

Maybe 7 GREAT months to help me figure out what my next step should be.

When I was 16, people asked me, "what do you plan to be in the future?" I replied, "I dunno." Then they would say, "Ohw. It's okay you still have time to figure that out."

When I was 17, people asked me, "what do you plan to be next time?" As usual, "I dunno. Seriously." They would say, "You better figure it out quick."

Few days ago, I was asked the same bloody question. And guess what my answer was?

I DONT EFFIN KNOW. (obviously, i didnt said effin lar. But according to my mood now, i can't help it. =/ )

Then now they would say, "WHAT? YOU'RE ALREADY 18 AND YOU STILL DON'T KNOW?? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KNOW BY NOW."

I hate it when high school's over, the only place where evrything's laid down for us. No worries. Just all day study all day play. :(